How to connect with your child instantly!
Our time is so precious and often we can find ourselves questioning our impact.
"Am I doing enough?",
"Am I making an impact on my child's success?"
The quickest and most powerful way to create impact and connection is the daily practice of willingness.
View my short video to learn what I mean by “willingness” and exactly how to use it during your interactions with your children.
For those of you eager to make the most of your time with your family this is the video for you.
And, for anyone struggling with cooperation or connection with your kiddos (any age!!) this will also be the key area to focus your attention to see an immediate shift in your family's relationships.
The truth is: relationships are tough! They take a lot of hard work and we can often get bogged down with our own self doubt of, “Am I doing enough? Am I really making an impact with my children?”
This is especially true when we are facing daily confrontation such as defiance, aggression or disobedience. Challenging behaviours from our kids have a way of seeding self doubt. It’s easy to fall into the trap of not-enough-ness. But, here’s the beautiful thing: You ARE enough. How do I know? Through actual studies and evidence-based research on this exact topic!
Read more about current research on this topic here.
Children do not actually need all of our time in order to become self aware, considerate and resilient human beings. Connection can be as simple as a few, impactful moments every day. In fact, studies show that children thrive when we learn how to create a balance between being with them and giving them the space they need to grow.
In this video clip I share the key thing all relationships need in order to develop and strengthen. What we want most is to know that our children will look to us for support, guidance and love when they need us the most. So, how can we know for sure that we are creating that pathway for them? By focusing on willingness. A willingness to feel how they feel is the key to everything in your relationship.
Think back to a time when your best friend called you excitedly to share her news of buying a new puppy! You replied to her with an equally excited, “How cute! What’s his name?” You practiced a willingness to take on how she felt in the moment. If you had replied with something more like, “Well, I’m doing the dishes right now.” your friend would have instantly felt disconnected and probably would have stopped sharing her good news with you. She may have questioned her timing and got off the phone as quickly as possible.
The quickest, most effective way to connect with anyone is to mirror their emotions back at them. When your children are arguing you may be tempted to storm into the room and bark orders. However, children will withdraw from us the moment we take over. An easier, more powerful way to impact their interactions with one another is to join in with a willingness to feel how they may be feeling in the moment and consider how they may be perceiving the argument.
Once we practice daily willingness everything gets easier. Connections get stronger. Conversations get smoother. Relationships get better.
Are you looking for simple ways to make daily connections with your children? Grab my free download 10 Ways to Connect!
About the author
Stephanie Wicker is a child behaviour expert, parenting educator, counsellor and speaker - who has successfully guided families through early childhood for over 15 years. Through her experience with private consultancy, as a preschool teacher and special needs therapist - she has worked across the many facets of early childhood behaviour.
Stephanie's evidence-based programs are grounded in behaviour science and her passion for Relational Frame Theory (RFT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and developmental psychology all play a big role in her programs.
Stephanie’s experience covers early intensive behaviour intervention programs for children with special needs and for families newly diagnosed. She hosts live training events all over Australia, where she shares her practical solutions and language techniques, along with providing private, in-home therapy sessions for those seeking more personalised support.
Through her company, Simply Kids she provides family resources such as digital books and educational activities, designed to keep behaviour simple.
"By helping parents place emphasis on connection, empowerment and encouragement, I believe that all children have the ability to reach their full potential." - Stephanie Wicker