Taking parents from confused or disheartened to confident and invigorated!
Time after time I hear from parents experiencing a complete loss when their children are overtly defiant, running away from them or just plain drama queens!! These challenges can lead to big, overflowing emotions for everyone involved. Maybe you have seen some of these behaviours as well. Have you noticed your little one digging in their heels every time you say, “Not today.”? Or maybe you have had a shoe (or two) thrown in your direction as soon as you gently remind them that you’re running late and the school day actually started three hours ago…
Big, loud behaviour can send a shiver straight up our spine and lead to a big explosion in our brains, “OH YES YOU WILL!” comes screaming from our lips before we know it and just like that we have turned into a yelling parent. The parent we promised ourselves we would never be.
Let me let you in on a little secret. Those defiant behaviours that can drive us up the wall get a bad reputation but the truth is those behaviours are entirely natural and necessary in your young child’s development.
Yep, you read that right. Your child is not broken… and neither are you. It’s perfectly normal to feel like you’re dropping the ball but the truth is: you haven’t. All that is needed is a little bit of emotional coaching. Rather than thinking about all the behaviour we desperately wish would go away and never return, I will teach you what behaviour to add into the mix and create the perfect recipe for your little one’s calmer, happier demeanor.
But, it all begins with acceptance. Accepting who your child is, accepting who you are as their parent and, finally, accepting that these big, bubbly emotional behaviours are normal and necessary.
I’ve been working with children and families for over fifteen years across various facets of childhood development. I created Simply Kids in response to the biggest challenge I believe families face when it comes to early childhood behaviour. That challenge is our own tendency to take behaviour personally. We define and translate behaviour faster than we can control and this leads to reactions instead of responses. Put simply, we carry around a lot of regret for how we react to behaviour but we feel stuck in a cycle because the way out seems impossible.
I like to compare behaviour to learning a new language. At the beginning when we don't know a lot of words it can seem daunting but over time and practice it becomes easier until finally we are fluent and confident. Speaking the language of behaviour may seem daunting and frequent mistranslations can lead to disconnection and overwhelm. With guidance and practice anyone can learn to understand the communication behind behaviour and create a happier, calmer parenting experience.